I’m sharing this story with everyone so they might feel more confident about changing their agendas and schedules to focus on what’s real and important from time to time.

The other day my wife and I were out for a walk when a car that drove past us slammed on its brakes, made an abrupt U-turn, and drove right up to where we were walking on the sidewalk. I was slightly concerned until I saw who jumped out: a former student shouting, “Mr. Ross! Mr. Ross! I have to tell you … ”

Four years earlier I taught this boy, now a young man, in a 10th grade social studies class. He wasn’t what you would call a ’strong’ social studies student, but I’ll be the first to admit that the content was not enthralling, and it most definitely wasn’t relevant to a lot of the 15 year olds in the class. Anyway, several times during that semester I saw Ryley drawing running shoes, and I thought, “OK, the boy likes running shoes.”

One day, however, during an open book exam, I walked past his desk and saw he hadn’t even started because he was busy drawing yet another picture of shoes. “Hmmm…” I thought, and asked him, “Ryley, what’s up with the running shoes?”

With a big, embarrassed smile, he replied, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” I asked.

“No one knows. Like I always draw running shoes and I don’t know why. It’s weird, right?”

And here I saw a 15 year-old boy who knew he should be working on his in-class exam, who knew he wasn’t the strongest social studies student in the class, who knew that there weren’t many other kids who drew running shoes, and he looked pretty embarrassed being caught with what he thought was a weird habit.

“Not at all,” I said, “I think it’s great! How long have you been doing this?”

“Like for as long as I can remember. I’ve always wanted to make running shoes when I grow up.”

“That’s great!” I said and I proceeded to tell him - in the middle of the open-book exam, that he was lucky to know exactly what he wanted to do at such a young age. I had run this lesson with that particular class, so this advice wasn’t coming out of left field, and I encouraged him to sketch out a life-plan that included running shoes. “Heck,” I said, “I can just see me and everyone in this room one day paying big money for your shoes. Wouldn’t that be awesome if we were all wearing your shoes one day?”

He nodded and smiled, and I gently encouraged him to get started and do his best on the in-class exam. That was it. Three minutes of my time.

Fast-forward 4 years and here he is, jumping out of his car to tell me, “I’m doing it! I’m doing it! I sent my designs off to a manufacturer in China and I’m getting my first prototype in a couple of weeks.”

It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about and then, once I did, he and I excitedly told my wife about the story of him drawing running shoes in social studies class.

“You were the one Mr. Ross. You were the one who told me to do it. I just thought you’d want to know.”

(How much time did I invest? Three minutes. It had nothing to do with me … but anyways … )

And here I saw a young man who was excited about life and his future plans, confident about himself, and grateful to a former teacher for not scolding him for drawing pictures in class when he should have been working. It was pretty cool to say the least, and I’m happy I spent the two or three classes talking to that group of students about life.

I’m glad I chose to make an otherwise boring course meaningful instead of  simply ‘covering’ the curriculum.

I’ll end with Ryley’s words, who messaged me on Facebook the other day:

hey mr. Ross! hope your doing well, i just thought i’d tell you i’m leaving to florence italy on tuesday to attend Polimoda fashion university for shoe design!!

This Ken Robinson talk makes me proud of the work we’re doing with the Civic Mirror and Action-Ed. More thoughts below.

It’s funny because the biggest challenges and hurdles we’ve faced in helping teachers implement the Civic Mirror is trying to integrate it into the linear model of schools today. The program provides so many rich opportunities for exploration, discovery, and break-out activities that the organic learning environment it provides teachers and students with literally competes with the linear status quo. Sometimes so much so that it can cause distress (which is always overshadowed by excitement and enthusiasm).  To use one teacher’s question as an example,

“How is it that the Civic Mirror has me debating Keynesian economics with my student, online, on a Friday night?”

After watching this video, I think the answer to her question is quite simple:

It’s because the school system you teach in doesn’t provide you with opportunities to have that discussion at school … where it be should be taking place and ideally in a way that would allow others to listen and participate too.

Anyway, I just want to shout out to all those teachers, principals, and school systems who want to take part in the revolution Ken Robinson’s talking about:

We’re here! We’re ready and waiting! And if you want to use a program that creates the educational change Ken Robinson is talking about - literally over night - you know how to get a hold of us!

There’s a massive difference between someone judging you and someone judging your actions and decisions.

When someone says that you’re bossy, or timid, or too sensitive, what they’re doing - usually without even knowing it - is psychologically backing you into a corner. They’re dead-end conversations. You can’t differentiate you from yourself.  So when someone says, “You are this,” well it’s only natural to get defensive. “What?” you’ll say to yourself, “They’re saying this about me? How could they?  No, no, no! I’m not that.” And off you go mentally defending yourself from the direct judgment made about who you are.

On the other hand, if someone comments on something you have done or chose to do, then their remark isn’t as much about you as it is about your action or decision. There’s psychological wiggle room. There’s room for discussion and exploration.

The focus on the action or decision allows us to step outside ourselves.

We can safely reflect without worrying about threats to our identity.

Focusing on our actions and decisions enables us to detach from ourselves … a key ingredient for meaningful reflection.

We can even join the other person in a discussion about ‘the act’ or ‘the decision’ without discussing who or what we are (or aren’t).

Now this is all very esoteric stuff, but it has massive implications for teachers and their dealings with students. I’ll illustrate with two quick examples, and will let you mull it over thereafter. I would love to read your comments.

Example 1: The statement,

“Come on Susie, you have to be able to accept criticism in life if you want to be successful.”

is about who Susie is. If Susie was your student she’s going to be thinking she has to change, whereas this statement frees Susie from the worry about who she is and allows her to focus on the consequences of her actions and decisions:

“Susie, have you ever thought about how many growing opportunities you’re going to miss out on if you continue to cry/ blow-up / retaliate whenever someone tries to give you constructive feedback? You’re better than that. Do you really want to let those outbursts rob you of important information that could make you stronger … and maybe more successful?”

Example 2: Or what if a teacher asks a student to leave the room, or sit off to the side, or do push-ups for repeated misbehavior … and the student retorts, “Why do you always pick on me.” (I got this a lot this year). In my opinion, the teacher shouldn’t get into the ‘about me’ trap. The discussion should shift to one about actions and decisions. A reply like the one below points out to the student that he’s not the problem, it’s simply his actions and decisions that are causing him problems. So I would say,

“Gee, I don’t know Dylan. I wish I could answer that question, but only you can. You know, I don’t like it when you sit off to the side, but you keep saying and doing things that result in that happening. It’s not that you’re bad or I don’t like you. It’s just that you keep deciding to put yourself in this situation. What’s funny is that I don’t think you really want to be in this situation. It doesn’t make sense, really … but it’s not like you’re giving me any other choices.”

The point is this: Discussions about actions and choices enable far more meaningful and reflective conversations than “you/me” discussions can ever generate.

Shorewood High School in Shoreline, WA

The Civic Mirror is a government and economics simulation that turns classrooms into countries and students into citizens. It can be used to ignite student interest in a variety of courses and, to date, the learning dividends have been amazing!

Join Regan Ross, creator of the Civic Mirror education program, for a half-day training in-service on May 15th at Shorewood High School and learn the following:

1. How to use the Civic Mirror by playing it with other teachers,
   
2. How it transforms teaching and learning, both reducing teacher work-load and increasing student engagement, and
3. How to plan a unit of study around the program that could prepare students for one of several CBAs.

ESD Clock Hours Available! 
Send Us a Message to Reserve Your Seat (click here)

click to view workshop location

DETAILS

When? Saturday, May 15th, 9:00AM to 1:00PM

Where? Shorewood High School, 17300 Fremont Ave N Shoreline 98133

Cost? Workshop free! Civic Mirror Teacher Manuals will be offered at a workshop special price. Helpful, hands-on instructional materials will be provided.

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I was motivated to write this post after a student of mine arrived to class 45 minutes late with a note from his mother excusing it because - get this! - his teeth hurt. I’ve heard a lot of creative reasons over the years, but this was a first. This young man will be able to vote in roughly a year. He also likes to skip class. I knew what was up. I recommended that he not show his future bosses notes like this from his mother. “In fact,” I said, “you might not want to show them any notes from your mother.”

I am so grateful that Hara Estroff Marano wrote A Nation of Wimps five years ago. As an educator, it gave me the courage to stand by my expectations and principles when parents came in to negotiate marks or question my intentions. It gave me the courage to say what I knew was intuitively true: “Adversity, you know, can actually build character if we teach Johnny to view it positively instead of negatively. Why don’t we make an effort to show him how a lesson can be learned from this little setback?”

Now a new documentary produced by the CBC has come out showcasing the same ideas. It’s called Hyper Parents, Coddled Kids and it’s very enlightening. To view the trailer click the image below. To watch the whole documentary, click here.