As a teacher who’s run countless simulations in my classroom, I’ve always been amazed at how willingly my students assume different roles and identities. Don’t think only children or teenagers like getting into role. The truth is our ‘identity’ is actually pretty slippery. For a lot of people, ‘who we are’ can change fast. It’s just a strange and fascinating fact of human nature. If you don’t believe me, check out this video on the Stanford Prison Experiment before reading on.
So how does this relate to teaching and reducing your stress for the coming year?
For starters – and I’m only speaking from experience here but there’s got to be research out there that validates this – switching between identity roles is mentally and emotionally draining. Think back to a time when you started spending time with a new group of friends or co-workers who were really different than most people you spent time with. I bet you caught yourself saying new words and doing different things. Their ‘new’ personalities probably started seeping into your personality, you identity. For example, a good friend of mine started talking like Tony Soprano after watching 3 seasons in one month.
I
believe most people are inclined to avoid these encounters of ‘newness.’ It’s like we’re hardwired to take the path of least resistance. It makes sense: it’s mentally and emotionally easier to have one identity role and one world-view instead of two or three. Granted some people can effortlessly switch between and maintain multiple identity boundaries with ease, I believe most people can’t. Their psyche attempts to unify them. There’s something within us that tries to find ‘identity equilibrium.’
I AM ‘TEACHER’
One of the biggest adjustments of my life was teaching. I think it’s true for most new teachers. I went from normal-guy to ‘teacher’ in less than a couple of months. I had to organize discussions, evaluate work and talent, make rules, and do whatever it took to enforce them. I was 23. I was becoming ‘teacher.’
And I found myself saying and doing things that I promised myself – just months earlier – I would never say or do.
It was as if my subconscious was willingly assuming the stereotypical ‘teacher’ role because I had to. It wasn’t me. Was it?
I wasn’t letting kids go to the washroom until their work was finished (because that was what the math teacher said I’d be smart to do).
I was yelling at students in the hallway for being (because that’s what the teacher across the hall did all the time and I thought I should too … but I’m always late).
I spelled-out swear words in the staffroom (because that’s what the ladies in their 50’s did and I didn’t want to offend them … but I never spelled out swear words).
I found myself, when marking, scoffing at really innocent spelling mistakes (because that’s what the English teachers I sometimes ate lunch with complained about all the time: bad spelling).
I even read a note that I caught being passed around aloud to the class! (I don’t know why I did that, I hated it when teachers did that … unless it was written by a girl I had a crush on).
I even (and I’ve never told anyone this) said to a group of senior students who were laughing, “Quit having such a good time.” Who says stuff like that? Oh yeah, ‘teachers.’
The point is that I found myself saying and doing all those ‘teacher-ish’ things my teachers did when I was a student … things I didn’t like or just expected them to because they were ‘teachers.’
And, worst of all, I found these new ‘teacher’ parts of me seeping into my out-of-school personality.
I was in the midst of a major identity tug-of-war. It was like I was in the Stanford Teacher Experiment. I felt I had to wear the hat that everyone talked about. I was becoming ‘Teacher’ and it was utterly exhausting, emotionally and mentally.
EPIPHANY
I can understand why we teachers have the reputation we do. Teachers absolutely have to set rules and enforce them if they want anything in the classroom to be accomplished. Classrooms are incubators of chaos just waiting to run rampant.
But, after months and years of soul searching, here’s the epiphany I had … and the heart of what I’m talking about:
You can set classroom rules and enforce them as yourself. You do not have to – just because everyone else has – assume the ‘teacher’ role to do this.
If you re-read my new-teacher memories, in most cases I felt I had to say and do ‘teacher-ish’ things just because. But we don’t have to, I realized. And at a certain point I got so tired of switching between roles (not to mention so weirded out by all of my ‘teacher-ish’ out-of-school behavior) that I made a promise to ensure that my ‘real’ self would not be overtaken and continually stressed by the ‘teacher’ role that was creeping in. It’s a promise that I’ve kept with joy. It’s not only reduced the stress that I believe comes with switching roles, but it’s enormously improved all of the relationships I’ve had with students, parents, and even other teachers.
The promise was this:
I will never say or do anything in the classroom that I wouldn’t say to a friend, family member, or acquaintance out of school.
And, after initially struggling to stick to this promise, I found myself enjoying the profession more. I found myself being more ‘real’ with my students and seeing them for who they really were, not just as students.
So here are some bits of advice for this coming school year that exemplify what I’m talking about:
- Teachers are human. We can be human. We can talk to humanly to our students.
- Teachers have feelings. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings to your students.
- Everyone likes being respected. Explain why you personally like being respected to your students and ask them to do the same.
- No one likes being ridiculed or picked on. Buck up and let them know – as yourself – that because you don’t tolerate disrespect in your personal life, you won’t tolerate it in the classroom. And then stop tolerating ridicule and cruelty in your personal life.
- No one likes bullies. Tell them that. Share a story about a bully you’ve encountered in your personal life. Tell them how you felt. Don’t hide behind the ‘teacher’ mask and say no one likes bullies just “because.” Get real with them.
- In other words, be your self!
And if who you are doesn’t match up to some of the rules that you want your students to abide by, do one of the following instead of hiding behind the ‘teacher’ hat and saying just because:
- Change the rule, or
- Change yourself
If you don’t, you run the risk being viewed as a hypocrite by your students.
BENEFITS
Trust me, the benefits of being yourself – instead of assuming a ‘teacher’ role that isn’t quite you – will be endless,
- Your students will like you more because they’ll be able to relate to you.
- When they like you they’ll work harder because they’ll want to follow your lead (i.e. not because you told them to).
- You’ll start to question a lot of what you say and do as a teacher, discarding the bad and hanging onto the real and good stuff.
- You’ll start becoming a better person,
- You’ll start becoming more confident because your identity will be more integrated,
- You’ll start inspiring your students,
- You’ll begin developing real, life-mentoring relationships with your students, not the typical ‘teacher’-student relationships,
- And you’ll like it,
All of the above will, if you haven’t guessed, decrease stress and make teaching waay more satisfying and enjoyable.
So, Sanity Saver #5 for the upcoming school year is …
Be Yourself, Not a ‘Teacher’
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Tags: effective teaching, Great Examples, making education meaningful, Reflections, Teaching Ideas