One of the best tips I received early on in my teaching career was to talk to my students as if they were adults, not at them as if they belonged to a different human sub-species. Here are some reasons why you should consider talking to your students instead of at them as well:
1. The most obvious reason: You talk to your friends, colleagues, and adult strangers. You don’t talk at them. Why would it be any different with your students? Are they members of a different human sub-species?
2. You reduce the chance of being viewed as a hypocrite. If how you talk to people depends on their station in life relative to your own (i.e. inferior, equal, superior), how can you ever hope to become an “integrated” person? On the other hand, if you talk to everyone the same – whether they are friends, students, and/or colleagues – you increase your integrity (from “integrated”) and reduce the risk of being perceived as a hypocrite (from Greek hypokritēs which means actor).
3. When you talk to someone you’re indicating respect. When you talk at someone you’re broadcasting your own arrogance. Respectful people are liked. Arrogant people are not. In fact, I’m willing to bet most of those teachers who say, “My students just don’t respect me,” talk at their students.
4. You reduce the occupational hazards that come with teaching (e.g. bossyness, complusive social planning & ogranizing in social situations, not admitting to not knowing something, etc.). Put another way, when you talk to your friends, you don’t boss them around, you admit you don’t know things, and you don’t organize their lives for them. But when you talk at someone (even your friends), it’s easier to do all these things.
5. You’ll develop confidence as a leader amongst your friends and peers. When you talk at someone you view them as inferior, but when you talk to someone you view them as an equal. Teaching requires one to give orders, determine worth, enforce consequences, and manage people. Most people in life do not have to do such things. These are leadership tasks. Teachers who view their students as equals learn how to do all these things in a fair, respectable, and positive way. Teachers who view their students as inferiors don’t. Teachers who talk to their students learn how to become positive and well-liked leaders. Teachers who talk at their students don’t. It all starts with how you talk.
Conclusion ~ When you talk to your students, they’ll know that they’re working with “the real you.” As a result, they’ll respect you more, they’ll listen more when you do have to talk to them seriously, you will develop enviable leadership skills, and life will become easier because you’ll be able to be the real you.
TIP: Ask yourself on a regular basis, “Would I say it this way to a friend, to a colleague, or I’m standingbeside in a movie theater line-up?” You’ll be amazed at the results … both in the classroom and in your personal life.
